Monday ramblings

Well, my in-laws headed home this morning, it was quick visit. Hopefully we will be able to go see them in a few months. I'd like the kids to see them more often. As R is only 2 - even though we last saw them in April, he is still very shy around them. K on the other hand was fine and enjoyed the visit. Especially walking the dogs. Unfortunately R picked up the smallest dog and dropped it. All is well though. I still have tomorrow off then back to work on Wednesday. ugh. I know I only work part-time and shouldn't complain .....OK, so I won't. Truth be told - I like my job most of the time. Not the part where they try to make my job do the job of two positions. Hard to explain, and even hard to pull off. But I manager -at least I tell myself I do. Well, little R should be up from a nap soon. Wait - little and R do not belong in the same sentence. Nothing about him is little. Everyone calls him a "brick" - so I have him trained to say "No I'm fluffy!" he cracks me up. He his such a joy. So is K - most of the time that is. Take care!

Random Thoughts

So...not too much going on. Just celebrated my Baby Dan's sixth birthday. It is so hard to believe that he would have been 6. I miss him so so so much. I look at his little brother and just wander how much trouble those two boys would have gotten in to. Probably a whole lot especially with the help of their sister. I'm still struggling with my daughter. I don't know what to do with her. She is still so resentful of her little brother....and has so much imaginery play with Baby Dan. I wonder what she thinks of it....she never got to see him - and she reminds me of this alot. Well..will try to post more soon. I have company this weekend and tried to sneek in a quick post.

Still here....

Ok, so it's been a while, as usual. I did receive the MRI - it took a month. But, it's been 6 years so I guess it took them a while, I understand.

I looked at it - not sure what I'm looking at. I thought it would just be pictures of his brain - didn't expect to see his little "face" ...through xray/mri I mean. His hands and his whole upper body you could almost see. They said he moved around alot the first time. So the second MRI they sedated him.

Otherwise things are about the same...I cannot believe it's almost Easter. Daughter K is ready for summer. Son R is causing trouble as usual. He loves getting into everything now.... at least he's not as fascinated with the trash can as he used to be.

We're making a trip to my hubby's parents in two weeks. Looking forward to it. It's been 1 1/2 years since we've seen them. Which means the last time they saw the kids, R was only 1 month old. It's a six hour drive, hopefully the kids will do well. I think R's big enough now that it should be fine. Thank goodness for those little tv's/dvd players in the car.

Take care!

Why? I don't know.....

OK - I called the hospital yesterday, where my son was for 1 month after his birth. I want the CD's of his MRI's. I have his whole medical record which has the reports in...but I want the pictures. Why??? I have no idea. I know I am torturing myself further, but cannot help it.

Otherwise things are ok.....we've had a bit of snow and ice but not too much. Cannot believe it will be February soon. I am ready for spring though....I am not a winter person in the least.

Still hurting..... always will be..... and, I think that's ok. it should hurt, right?

OMG! It's 2009

Ok, I'm sure nobody reads this....I didn't realize I had not posted at all in 2008. Thought for sure I had.
Anyway, things are well. Both kids are healthy and happy.....except for when they're fighting. I had not anticipated this sibling rivalry so early. A 4 1/2 yr old and a 1 1/2 yr old. It's not pretty sometimes. Oh well.
The 19th is the "anniversary" of my son's death. Anniversary is not the right word....but anyway. It's hard to believe it'll have been 5 years. I long to hold him so much. I hold his clothes and try to remember.
I've had a bit of a relapse lately....depression, etc. I think that will always be with me though, and I have to accept that. And try to not let it consume me and become me.
I've started going to church. I find great comfort in that, and peace.
Well, my little one is up. I'll try to post more this year.