a little late....

Ok - so in one of my recent blogs I mentioned that while ttc ....I was trying to "be careful" to avoid a June/July baby. Well .......oops! So, I'm 5 days late. I've resisted the urge to pee on a stick. I told my husband we would wait until the weekend to do that. Though I think we both know the answer. I'm afraid to tell anyone. I'm even a little afraid to post here. I read about 5 other blogs right now. And my heart aches for what they're going through.

So if I am pg - I just need to try and stay healthy and make it close to the due date, which I think would be 7/6. My son's birthday was 7/5. 7/6 coincidentally (?sp) was also my daughters due date. However I ended up having to be induced 4 weeks early with her. Speaking of...I think she is starting to wake up, so I better get going.

We're going to my inlaws my next Monday off, but I will try and post before we take off. Take care!

On a sidenote...

I forgot to mention in my post, daughter is doing GREAT at potty training! Well, for #1 at least.....she still likes to go #2 in her training pants. But...I'm ok with that for now. I'm so proud of her!!!!

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Well, it's Monday again. Trying to have a good day. My daughter is rebelling over watching spongebob. I think she watches too much TV so I'm trying to limit her today. Sometimes she acts so much like a teenager, and she's only two! She is napping now. Ahhh....
On Friday I ran into our hospice nurse. She was at work visiting a patient and stopped by. It's the first I've seen her for a few months. We talked happily for a while, she was telling me about a recent patient, another baby, then she asked me if I had any regrets. I lost it...just started crying and telling her my regrets ...of my son's last day. I hope she doesn't feel bad that she made me cry..it was definetly something I needed to get out, and felt better afterwards for doing so. She's the best. I never, never would have made it through everything without her. She always provided me with so much reassurance..and that meant so much. All the decisions you think you're going to make when having a baby....just flew out the window. Suddenly it was his medicine schedule, tube feeding schedule, keeping track of his temps, having his labs drawn all the time. My poor little man. I miss him so much. I was contemplating what to do with all of his clothes. I have two drawers full of favorite outfits that I pull out and look at from time to time. Then I also have two big totes full of clothes. I'm not sure if I should keep them forever or just throw them away. I don't think I could give them away, or use them again if we do decide to have another baby - and it's a boy. That may be hard.
Well I'm going to go read some more blogs. Take care.