Terrible Two's

My 2 yr old daughter has sure turned into a rebelious child at times. I love her....but am having trouble dealing with her back talking. I've learned that she doesn't like being in her room with the door closed. So....I was able to use that as leverage to get her to nap today. I know that's bad.....but it's better than her being a grump from no nap.

Well....Friday 8/4 was the 3 yr anniversary of the day we were finally able to bring my son home from Children's hospital. Of course we were only home for a few days and had to spend the weekend in the hospital again. This time we could stay at our local hospital. It was the Friday after we got home, about noon. I was debating if it was safe to walk across the street to the bank, and leave my Mom w/Baby Dan. Thank God I waited. My DH's Mom called and just as I was talking to her, Baby Dan stopped breathing again. In the middle of his tube feeding. My Mom was screaming..."Not yet Baby Dan, No! Not Yet!"....I panicked! I had seen him do this so many times in the hospital. I told mil that I had to go....and called DH...."Do you want the baby intubated?" NO! he said. I knew we agreed on that but at the moment I froze. I called 911, told them my son was coding, had a DNR but wanted them to come anyway. In between all of this, trying to give my son mouth to mouth. He was in his bouncy seat. I still can't believe how much I froze. I mean, I was able to do the mouth to mouth and chest compressions ok, but I totally forgot how to work the suction machine...and the tube feeding he just vomited everywhere. When the ambulance showed up they put him on the couch...they said his heart was beating, and breathing shallow. They suction ALOT of tube feeding out...he was still with me. I went in the ambulance with him, and one of the guys drove my MOm to the hospital. My poor DH, felt so sorry for him...he worked not far from the hospital so he was there for a while...not knowing what was going on. WE stayed the weekend in the hospital...not sure why, I think because I was afraid to go back home...but we did on Sunday.

These episodes repeated about 4 more times over the next 3 weeks, then for some reason subsided. He still had episodes of holding his breathing..but nothing like above. Poor little guy. We made the decision before we left the hospital do make him a "do not resuscitate"...but somehow we did resusciate him a few times....I felt so bad afterwards each time. On one hand you're thankful he's still here....but to see what his little body went through each time....oh God...it had to be ....sorry....I have to stop now.